When People Put Their Fears On You

July 8, 2019 Adventuring, Relationships

On adventuring and trying new things:

People who love you will unintentionally put their fears on you when what you want is different than what they know. And this isn’t their fault, it’s just a natural response to the fear of the unknown. So I want to do X thing and they’ve never done X thing and they love me and so then they get afraid for me. And to try to keep me safe they warn me and put their fears on me. Which, although well intended, their fear is not my fear.

The best best best most loving thing you can do for me is to let me go do that thing, whatever it is, even if it doesn’t make any sense to you or you’re afraid of it for me. Because I’m not (or sometimes I am and just choose to do it anyway!).

I want to do SO many things I’ve never done before, or even ever let myself want to do. I used to block myself, like “no, you can’t want that” as a self-protective mechanism. Because if I didn’t let myself want it, then I wouldn’t be disappointed if I didn’t get it. Which is a surefire way to certainly not get something. Fascinating isn’t it?

I don’t do that anymore. Now I let myself want everything I want, and get very excited when I inevitably get it because the universe is magical. And if I don’t get it I make peace with it and let it go, trusting that it wasn’t meant to be.

Don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t mean I’m not careful or responsible. Like I pay my taxes and stop at red lights and all that good stuff. It just means I’m generally interested in both tiny adventures (like to a new grocery store!) and grand adventures (like to another side of the world!) Both with and without fear, and DEFINITELY with excitement.

With so much love and adventure,

Netanya

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