What You Speak, You Become

August 19, 2019 Self-work

Something I’m finding fascinating at the moment is that I’ve been realizing how often I speak or write things into existence.

We take language for granted. Often people waste it on things like complaining. There’s literally not a bigger waste of your language that I can think of than that.

Another way we waste it is on worrying out loud. Worrying is like praying for what you don’t want.

I frequently talk or write about things I want to call into my existence. When I have a dream or goal, and I know that someone in my sphere can support it because it’s within the range of their belief system, I will talk about it. Brainstorm. Create it. What if this thing I want is totally possible? How are the different ways it could show up for me? What could it look like?

When I have a dream or goal and I’m pretty sure that it’s too far outside of the belief system of anyone around me, I write it out. I make a list of all the aspects of it (i.e. a new job) that I want.

I don’t worry about how I’m going to get it. I just list out everything I want.

And then I don’t tell anyone about it.

Because when you tell people your vision, and they can’t see it, the first thing they do is unintentionally crush it. Not because they want to hurt you – usually the opposite – they don’t want to see you be disappointed or hurt or fail. So they try to talk you into believing it’s not possible (because they don’t believe it’s possible – it’s literally not within the range of their belief system) as a safety mechanism.

So I shut my mouth, keep my vision, and watch it unfold.

This has become ridiculously fascinating.

It matters not if anyone else believes in your vision. BUT. The one and only caveat to whether or not this will work for you is this: YOU have to believe in it. Like for real.

I don’t mean ask for a million dollars and tell yourself you believe you can have it, but secretly be lying to yourself and over here like, “yeah, right.” It will never, ever, work for you if that’s what you’re doing.

I mean actually, fully, 100% believe it’s possible, whatever the “it” is that you want to call into your life.

The best way I know of to get yourself to believe that something is possible for you is to find evidence that it’s possible. Because confidence comes from evidence. The more evidence that you have, the more confident you become, the more your belief system gets into alignment with the thing it is that you’re calling into your existence.

My two favorite ways to gather evidence:

  1. Measuring backwards. We’re always looking forwards, into the negative space of what we don’t yet have. And while this is good sometimes because it’s how we reach goals etc., we often forget to look at the ridiculous myriad of amazing and wonderful things and experiences we’ve already spent a lifetime creating for ourselves. So you have to turn around – list out all the things you’ve already got. Then sit on a mountain of both gratitude and awe. Like YOU did that. And while I’m sure you had help along the way, you had to be the catalyst or it couldn’t have happened for you.
  1. This is for when it’s a farther off belief – something that you want feels kind of far fetched for your range of beliefs. I like to look around and ask this question: Does a single other human on this Earth have it? Has this happened to someone else? And write out the evidence that even if you haven’t gotten to the point where you believe it’s possible for you yet, it’s definitely possible for at least some humans. Because if it happened to someone else, why couldn’t it also happen for you?

For those of you that in this moment are feeling skeptical, notice where you’re arguing for your limitations. When you do this, you’ll find that’s an argument you’ll surely always win.

A good example of #2 was a few years ago when I was still in teaching. I decided I wanted a job working from home in the self-help industry.

I had read somewhere about a guy who was walking into a building for a job interview and went out of his way to wait and hold the door for the man behind him. It turns out the man behind him was the CEO with whom he had an interview. The CEO gave him the job without thinking because he had held the door for him, and he wanted people like that in his company.

I believe that things like this are totally possible. Mostly because I am absolutely the kind of person that would do something like the CEO did.

I decided that I wanted it to be that easy for me to make the jump from the field I was in to something completely different. So I made a list of all the things I wanted in the job. And at the bottom I wrote “I want it to be as easy as having a conversation.”

Four months later, I had a new job, working from home, in the self-help industry. No resume. Just an email that in my inbox that I responded to.

And all we did was have a phone conversation.

Because what you speak, you become.

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